Van o Pain
by Crab Hole Cripple
Summary: It was a cycle, a never ending pattern, and it was driving him insane... Seigaku must rent a van to travel to a training camp. What torture will a certain tennis player have to endure?


A/N: Hello

Hello, this is the Cripple. This is a story invented on a car trip when I was bored and Have Socks Will Travel and Princess Cupcakes were in the back (it was my turn in the front) reading. I hope you like it!

"Can you believe he did that?!"

"No! He is unbelievable!"

"I know! If I were her…"

Why was he here? Why was he sitting in front of the most annoying kid in the school?

_Tap. Tap tap tap. Click. Sniffle._

And why was he sitting next to that geeky science kid, who kept tapping away on his laptop, snuffling his nose. Who knew that geeky science kids could catch colds. Kaido let out a sigh of resignation. He surveyed the van.

Up in the front was sensei. She was the one driving this van, since there were no activity buses available. This fact bothered Sensei. It bothered her so much that she kept saying _humph!_ in a grumpy manner over and over again. Their destination was some training camp. They'd already gone to, like, four, so Kaido didn't really she the point of going to another one. _Humph!_

In the shotgun position was Tezuka. He was reading a book called "The Theory of Tennis". How could anyone read such a boring book? _Turn page_.

He, Kaido, was sitting behind Tezuka in the second row of seats. Next to him was Inui, who was still typing on his laptop. Inui paused his assault on his laptop keyboard just long enough to blow his nose. He added this tissue onto the ever-growing pile in a plastic grocery bag in front of him. Then he turned back to his laptop and picked up where he lest off. _Tap tap. Snuffle._

To the left of Inui was Fuji. He was staring out his window. Occasionally he would sigh, or breathe a depressed "_Saa_". Kaido wondered what was up. _Saa._

Behind Fuji was where Kaido's real problem was. It had to be the worst seating arrangement ever. Behind Fuji was Eiji, followed by Ryoma, with Momo behind Kaido. Now, what's the problem with that, you ask. Well, while Ryoma simply sat still and minded his own business, Eiji and Momo did not.

They were reading this gossip article that was having a special issue on celebrity fights and breakups, and they would often find the need to comment to the other person. When the need would arise, they would spring up and lean over Ryoma so that they could be face to face with the other person. This would often result in protest from Ryoma, usually in the form of a loud Hey! Which, after four or five times, gave one a headache. Also, when Momo sprang up, he would accidentally kick the back of Kaido's seat, causing Kaido to get minor whiplash every five or so minutes. _Kick, nya, giggle HEY._

Then, to top it all of, in the back were Taka and Oishi. Now, Oishi was a very busy man. And, being student president, he had a lot of paperwork. He had chosen to fill out those mountains of paper work in pencil. And only one pencil, mind you, with the assistance of a handheld pencil sharpener. So, as he scribbled away, his pencil would make that annoying pencil sound and would dull. Then Oishi would begin the long, noisy, and highly obnoxious task of hand sharpening his pencil. _Scratch, scratch, sharpen._

Then there was Taka. It appeared that his father was giving him a test on his cooking land cleaning skills and he was a little nervous about it. No, nervous was an understatement. He was worrying so much that he was beginning to get crease marks on his forehead. Taka had taken to chanting recipes and instructions under his breath unceasingly. _Cold, hot, take off… _

From where Kaido sat, the car sounded something like this:

_Humph! Turn page. Saa. Tap tap. Snuffle. Kick. Nya! Giggle. HEY! Scribble scribble. Hot, cold, wipe… Sharpen sharpen._

It was a pattern, a never ending cycle, and it was driving him insane.

Humph! Turn page. Saa…

Wait! Was that what he thought that was?

Tap tap. Snuffle.

No, it couldn't be!

Kick. Nya! Giggle. HEY!

Could it be…?

Scribble scribble. Rice, salmon, wasabi… Sharpen sharpen.

YES! They were at the training camp!!

Kaido bolted from the van, leaving the members of the tennis team staring at his retreating back.

"What's up with him?" Asked a bewildered Sensei to the van at large.

"I don't know." Said Momo, sticking his head out of the van. "He must be carsick."


End file.
